How a week in Italy showed me myself
"What brought me here was curiosity and the will to develop myself," I said to the camera one sunny afternoon in Italy.
A few minutes later, I was already doubting it and saying to myself it was stupid and basic. Later, I turned it into a joke.
"I tried to summarize my answer to be as short as possible and turned it into something so basic I should take a mirror selfie with it," I said to other people, laughing, trying to relieve my perceived shame by sharing it with others - and hoping for a for "nooo, it's not basic at all!".
This awareness of self-inflicted shame and how hard it is for me to feel proud of myself (while feeling this for others is really easy) is one of the main take-aways I bring home with me from the All You Need Basic Synergy Training Course.
How was it? Awesome, intense, demanding, confusing, enlightening, transforming.. And much more.
What did we do? We talked, played, drew, built, talked, cried, smelled, walked, talked, got lost, screamed, danced...
What did we do exactly? Come on, you know I can't tell you! And anyway, it's different for everyone.
These projects are like magic. A bit weird kind of magic.
- There are important people in my life now, but 9 days ago I didn't know even they existed.
- I learned how to look into another person's eyes without laughing nervously and find comfort in it.
- There is one tree above Varazze that will always have a special place in my heart.
- I (finally!) dared to dance contact improvisation for the first time.
- I dug deep and got honest about my insecurities, competences and ways how I use them.
- I was looking for a raw egg lost in leaves along a road while screaming his name.
- I understood and accepted myself a bit more again.
As you can see from this disorderly clump of words, I am still processing and it's not easy for me to draw clear conclusions.
There are three feelings that overcome me, whenever I think about this experience:
gratitude for having the opportunity and the courage to go through this,
love for the humans I got to know there,
awe at the fact that this is my life, those were really my experiences and are now becoming my memories.
There was a lot of adventure and a lot of learning.
Here you can see Tommi's awesome video:
Photos by Tommaso Sgrizzi.
Also huge thanks to Katka, Sipi, the team, my awesome buddy and Brno Connected.